Shouldn't
by reppad98
Summary: There are a lot of things Draco feels he shouldn't do. Giving in to Astoria is one of those things. One-shot. AstoriaxDraco. My entry for Round 2 on the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition forum.


**A/N:** Thanks for clicking on this story, I hope you enjoy! This is my entry for Round 2 on the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition forum. The challenge was to write a story, rated between K and T, consisting of more than 1000 and less than 3000 words, based on lyrics and using three optional prompts.

My lyrics:

_"I give up, I give in_

_To the whole of your skin_

_(I give up, I give in Am I doing this again?)"_

- This Heart, Mary Lambert

My prompts: _weakness_,_ pretence_ and _notebook_.

A huge thank you for _gote_, for beta'ing this story and giving constructive criticism. Thank you! :)

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Shouldn't**

Astoria smiled hopefully at the blond boy, "Well, what do you think about it?"

"Well..." Draco said, his face not showing any of his doubts.

He shouldn't. He really shouldn't. He definitely shouldn't.

But then again, it was just an innocent visit to Hogsmeade. Nothing would happen. They were just two students going to Hogsmeade. Together. It was perfectly normal. There was no need to be nervous, nothing would happing. He wouldn't let anything happen, because she deserved better.

Maybe he should go,he thought when he saw the pleading look on her ...

Had it been two years ago, before the war really broke out, he wouldn't even have thought about going with her to Hogsmeade. Him, associating with _her_, the misfit of the Greengrass family? He, the proud heir of the Malfoy family, pureblood and Slytherin, going to Hogsmeade with her, the only Ravenclaw in a Slytherin family, the one befriended with bloodtraitors and Mudbloods? _Never_.

Then the war happened, and suddenly Astoria was the only respectable member of the Greengrass family, the only one preventing the complete downfall of her family. And here she stood, trying to convince him, a former Death Eater, to go to Hogsmeade with her. If she knew what good was for her, she would stay away from him.

Hell, if _he_ cared a bit about her and her reputation, he would turn around and never speak to her again. The fact that he was even thinking about going with her shows he's no good. He should just say no and walk away.

Draco looked at her again, the pleading look in her eyes and the hopeful smile on her face, and all his determination to decline seemed to whiter away. Why did she have such an effect on him? Why did she make his mind hazy and his hands sweaty?

"For me?"

If she had been a Slytherin, he wouldn't have doubted that she was manipulating him. But she wasn't. Astoria was happy and pure and innocent – everything he was not, and he didn't get why she would want to be around him.

These thoughts flashed through his mind, as the words she wanted to hear flew out his mouth. "Oh fine, let's go to Hogsmeade. But I don't see why you would want to, you_ know_ it's overrated and childish."

"Victory!" Astoria laughed. "And because it's fun, don't be such a spoilsport."

Involuntary he smiled at her cheerfulness as she hooked her arm through his. A moment later he wanted to slap himself. What was _wrong_ with him? He was acting like a lovesick teenage boy!

Realisation hit him like the cold wind that blew through the doors. _Shit. He was._

* * *

"_Hmpppph."_

_Ignore her, Draco thought. Ignore her, just like everyone ignores you. It had been a mistake to come back to Hogwarts after the war, to finish his seventh year, but he hadn't known what else to do. All students avoided him, everywhere he went looks and whispers followed him, and even though the teachers made sure it didn't get too bad, their cold attitude towards him spoke volumes._

"_Hmmmpph."_

_Ignore. Ignore. Ignore._

"_Hmmmppphh."_

_Okay, now she was just doing it on purpose. Irritated, he looked up from his homework. Behind him, a brown-haired girl was doing her best to reach the top shelf of a bookcase, but despite standing on her tiptoes and stretching out as far as she could, she still wasn't able to grab the book she wanted._

_Don't, a gut feeling told him. Don't help her, don't._

_Why, his common sense questioned. Why ignore her? Why not help her?_

_But as always with gut feelings, they don't give an explanation. It's just a feeling, a vague feeling, telling you to this or that, or in this case, not to do something._

"_Would you want some help with that?" he asked her politely, turning around on his chair. He was fully expecting her to decline, since she would recognise him and turn away disgusted, like so many before her. She didn't, however._

_Instead, she shot him a grateful smile. "Yes, please."_

"Great Goblins And Their Lives_?" Draco asked, holding out the book for her._

"_Yes, thank you." She smiled again at him, and he had the feeling he should recognise her, but couldn't recall her name._

_A second later, the mystery was solved. "I'm Astoria Greengrass."_

_Ah yeah, Greengrass... her sister Daphne was in his year, Draco remembered. But he hardly knew anything about Astoria, except that she was a Ravenclaw and in terms of character the complete opposite of her sister._

_Astoria was looking at him expectantly, apparently expecting him to introduce himself as well. Maybe she really hadn't recognised him. But she will now, he thought a bit sadly, and then she'll turn away and leave._

"_Draco... Malfoy."_

_She didn't. She just nodded as if she had expected that answer – and maybe she had – and stood there awkwardly. _

"_Well, I'll see you around, Draco." And with one last smile, she was gone._

_With a shake of his head, Draco went back to his homework. He was positive that he wouldn't see her around anymore._

_Draco didn't know it yet, but he had never been so wrong. _

* * *

"Madam Puddifoot's?" Draco asked her with raised eyebrows.

When Astoria nodded enthusiastically, his eyebrows shot up even further. Why did she want to go there, with _him_? He didn't voice these thoughts though, but just asked, "Why would you want to go _there_?"

"I've never been there before, and you just don't go there alone or with girls, it's more a place for..."

"Couples," he finished her sentence.

"Yeah..." Astoria agreed, and an awkward silence followed.

What _exactly_ was she asking him? Was this her way of asking him out? Why couldn't she just be clear? Whatever she meant, he should say no. Just say no.

"I don't think... I don't think that's a good idea," he finally said. Why couldn't he just say no? He never had had a problem with rejecting girls, what was so different about her?

He knew the answer. Because he actually returned her feelings, and he knew it was wrong. This girl, this happy, innocent girl should be here with someone from her own House, or a heroic Gryffindor, or a friendly Hufflepuff. Not with him, not with a grumpy, scarred Slytherin.

"Oh." Her face fell. "Well, we could just go... somewhere else."

Yes. Say yes. Say that you're now going to the Three Broomsticks, or to the Shrieking Shack, or Honeydukes, or just anywhere. But when Draco looked at her face, the disappointment that was written on it, he couldn't. He just _couldn't_.

"But one cup of tea can't hurt, right?" The words were out of his mouth before he could think about it. Her reaction was as he had hoped for though, as she beamed at him and he felt that weird fluttering feeling in his stomach again.

"Really?" she asked, her eyes shining.

"Well, uh..." It seemed too late to say no, and he found he didn't want to say it either. There was some feeling, something telling him that he was making a huge mistake, but at this moment, he didn't care.

"C'mon, let's go then." Smiling, she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the Tea Shop.

Trying to save some of his dignity, he repeated, "Just one cup of tea, I want to leave that abhorrent place as soon as possible."

"Sure Draco." Astoria laughed again, and he had to fight to keep the grin of his face.

* * *

"_Hello Draco," a girl suddenly greeted him, sitting down on the other side of the table._

"_Uh, hello," he said, not quite sure what she was doing here. He hadn't given her much thought after last week, and was surprised to see her again."Astoria, wasn't it?"_

_She nodded in confirmation. "I'm just going to do my homework here, you don't mind, right? I'll be silent."_

_He shouldn't. He shouldn't. She would get too close._

_Astoria looked at him questioningly._

_But it was just doing homework, and they probably wouldn't even talk to each other. What was the harm?_

"_Okay, I don't mind." He tried to smile, but found it harder than he remembered. When was the last time he had smiled?_

_She smiled at him, and suddenly the corners of his mouth turned up too. Like she was showing him how to smile again. Such a cliché, he scoffed inwardly. Not to mention untrue. _

_They were silent again, only the sound of quills on parchment was heard. After some time, Draco dared to look up, observing her silently. She was scribbling things down in her notebook, her hair falling in her face._

_She was pretty, he noticed. Not overly beautiful or sexy, but pretty. It wasn't even her appearance that made her pretty, she looked fairly average, but it was the air around her. Some sort of happiness, seemed to hang around her, or maybe it was a brightness radiating from her._

_He didn't know what _exactly_ it was, just that there was something. And that there was some gut feeling telling him to stay away from it._

_He didn't listen._

* * *

"That was terrible!" Astoria laughed, exiting the little tearoom.

"I told you so." Draco grinned. "And you were even pretending you liked it!"

"Well, I didn't want to hurt that woman's feelings," the girl replied, still smiling.

"I think you were scaring her to death, with all your compliments." Draco laughed a bit. "The only good thing there was the size of the teacups, they were so small, so we were at least able to finish soon."

"Well, whenever I pretend to like things I tend to go a little overboard with the compliments," she explained.

"A little? That's an understatement," he said, causing her to laugh again. He froze as realisation hit him.

"You're not pretending to like _me_, are you?" he asked, trying to make it sound as a joke, but he couldn't hide the hint of insecurity in his voice.

"What?" Astoria was a few steps ahead of him, but now she stopped. "That's ridiculous!"

She closed the space between them, and looked up at him with a soft smile. "Draco, I genuinely like you. Why wouldn't I? You're a good person."

"A good person?" he echoed questioningly, his thoughts on last year.

"Yes, yes Draco, a good person." The look in her eyes was one of certainty, with no place left for doubts. "You're intelligent, have a sharp sense of humour, and are not afraid to give your opinion. Those are good traits. So yes, a good person."

He stared at her for moment, his eyes asking her the question he couldn't seem to form with words. _What about last year?_

"What's in the past stays in the past. Forgive and forget," she spoke softly. Astoria grabbed his cold hand and squeezed it softly. "Believe me, Draco, you are a good person."

"I'll trust you on that then," he said light-heartedly, not wanting to talk about it right now. But still, he felt slightly comforted by her words. He himself might not believe it, but it was nice she at least believed it.

* * *

_Walking in the Great Hall, a smiling face immediately caught his attention. He smiled back, and was about to make his way over to the Slytherin table when she waved, beckoning him to come over._

_He shouldn't. Absolutely not._

_They had talked multiple times, it had actually become rather regular to sit down in the library, get out his homework and have hushed conversations with Astoria. But those were about school, homework and teachers, sitting with her during lunch..._

_He shouldn't. It would be bad for her reputation too._

_She waved again, mouthing words at him he wasn't able to understand, but he could make a pretty good guess that it was something along the lines of "Come over here."_

_He really shouldn't._

_With a shake of his head he wanted to end their non-verbal conversation, but it just caused her to pout at him._

_Oh, why not? Just for once._

_But it wasn't just for once. The next day, they sat together as well. And the day after that too. And in the following days and weeks, they spent more and more time together._

* * *

Astoria hadn't let go of his hand, and they had continued walking like that, hand in hand. Something in Draco was screaming at him to let go, to let go while he still had the chance; shouting that she deserved more, that he wasn't worth her.

He agreed with that voice in his head, but didn't let go. Because he had tried, gently letting go of her hand, but her face had fallen and he had quickly grabbed her hand again.

She was his weakness. He would do anything for her. Anything. He shouldn't give in to her, he knew that, but every time, every time she would look at him with that look in her eyes, and all his resistance would just melt away.

They walked through the doors, and awkwardly stopped in the Entrance Hall. This was where they should part, he would go to the dungeons, to the Slytherin Common Room, and she would go to the Ravenclaw Tower. But they didn't move, just stood there, hand in hand, in complete silence.

"I really enjoyed today, Draco," Astoria said, looking up to him with a smile.

"Me too." He smiled back at her, even though the look in her eyes was making him nervous.

Step away, his brain screamed at him. Leave. Go. Run, run now you still can.

Astoria took a step closer to him. Draco realised what she was doing: she was going to kiss him.

He shouldn't let her. Definitely not. It was wrong, this was wrong, he was wrong for her. She deserved better.

She was leaning in, and he still wasn't moving.

He should move. He should. But he wasn't. Why wasn't he moving? He needed to move away, he had to.

But he didn't want to. He _wanted_ to give in, he wanted to kiss her. But he shouldn't, it was so wrong. So, so, so wrong.

Only a few more inches.

He shouldn't. He wanted to. This was so confusing.

One inch.

_Oh fuck it._

And he kissed her.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it. Please leave me a review!


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